Escape Into Chris - Entry 2
February 2007 – Normal, IL
“…What I’m a finding overall is that this image I have of myself in my mind should not be taken so seriously. Who I think I am is an illusion. Yes, I’ve devoted myself to writing but there is nothing remarkable, nothing truly genius about my writing now. The only thing that separates me from the average person when it comes to writing is my obsession with it. I am always focused on what I have to do to improve my writing. It doesn’t matter what I write and perhaps it never will matter what I write. It is the journey I crave, I crave a place to go inside myself and not the neurotic hall of mirrors I’m usually in, but the mysteries of the unconscious. I am an explorer – some travel to different places, I travel inward to different places. I am not content staying in this mental dimension. I wish to travel, to see other domains, to experience other realities. Perhaps that is why I am so attracted to cultivation. By cultivating myself I become something greater, something more than what I had seen.”
via Escape Into Life
Escape Into Chris - Entry 1
In tribute to the life and works of Chris Al-Aswad, we, his family, are honoring his memory by posting regular excerpts from his writings here at his website Escapeintolife.com
Summer 2006 - Normal, IL
“… I worry that I won’t have enough time, once work starts, to read and write. But I also know there is always enough time. We just don’t happen to see all the time that is available to us because we are clouded by a fear of death.
My urge to read and write is a defense against death and its anxiety. I feel that I am finite and by reading and writing and by leaving a living record of my self, I believe that I can transcend my own death. I participate in the life that so many people lead without even thinking about it. That is, working a regular job, having a family, or having a wife for me is a burden, because by leading what most would consider a normal life I am “giving up”, in a sense, I am surrendering to my own mortality. By retreating into this world I have created with words and books, I hope to transcend my own death. But I need to make sure I live. I will never be able to transcend death until I fully live.”
Escape Into Chris
A long, wintry six months has passed since EIL and Blog of Innocence's founder, Chris Al-Aswad, left life behind and stepped into the world of the Spirit. In addition to countless unforgettable memories, Chris also left us with dozens of journals brimming with his deepest thoughts and philosophical ponderings of existence on planet earth. Recently, my Father and I began exploring them in depth, discovering incredible, illuminated passages rife with prophetic, provocative insights and brutal honesty. While the quest to fill the space that Chris’ parting left in us will continue for our lifetimes, we’ve found solace and uplift in the notion of sharing these with the people Chris cared for most, his friends in the EIL community. Clearly, the spirit of Chris lives on in them, as well as in the eternal flow of the creative life-force, and so he would surely approve. We will start by posting one a week and are open and eager to hearing your feedback.
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